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03 april 2009

Why would I ask u “do u really love me”? besides u never tell me before, of course, there are a few reasons why.

1. Remember u were in gurney with jeff?i said I wanna join u then u said u all were about to leave. And when I said I really wanna join you n I m at chili’s, u sound abit weird instead of saying sth like “come find me” or “where are you”. But u said “u are in chili’s?”…sounds like u very scare wanna let ppl c me

2. U were having gathering with ur ex colleagues in queensbay. I was there too, but u din say maybe we can meet up or sth like that. Again u make me feel like u dun wanna let ur frens meet me.

Though you always said y I wanna thk so far, when thgs come, they come. But if I never say I wanna join u when u are with ur frens, what if someday we really meet ur frens accidentally?at least now u will realize that if u really want all these thgs to come.

My frens will tease me like “are u going out with ur photographer” or “u got bf d” n blab la bla which pretty much sounds like in ppl’s perception, couples are meant to be tgt most of the time. I dun know but I m sure this is not what is going to happen to us….u might tell me that I am with a 33 year old man n I need to grow up quickly. Yes…I try, but u need to also work ths out with me…do ur frens intro their gf to u? or are they just like u?

Everytime I need to find reason to tell myself that nth’s wrong, we still have our own life, we still need frens and I dun want u to feel that after having me u dun have frens n thgs like that.but then it all makes me feels as though I come after ur career, family, ur privacy, ur frens n I m the last…always the very last….like I always am…