19th april 2009
i thought things will be fine, i thought everythg is over....but i guess it is not as easy as i thk...only if he cares abt me...he wouldn't do this to me....but when he said "this includes my mom also"...i was thinking things are not as bad as it is seen...
maybe i really dun understand him that well yet...sometimes from what he said i am not sure if he means dun wanna be with me or is it really just a break...like a recess time, when later on will get back to the class....but the class will end eventually...i hope it will be a good 1.......mei mei cant understand y i can still go out with him wen sth like that happened,honestly, i dun know y too...but the feeling in me is so strong that it is telling me he will be the right 1...i just need to have faith...
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
i trust in you..........
15th april 2009
We had a small quarrel about why you still go out with jeff for a drink and never take me out..then I asked you to drop by because I can’t concentrate on my studies. And then u came by…u said that it is not because u dun wanna talk to me but u were so stressed out that you dun wanna say something wrong when u are not in a good mood cause u dun wanna hurt me…and u said it is not that I am not important to u..
Also, we talked abt I am not sure if u are still having other affair which is the only thg I thk is unfair to me, and I am not sure if u have solved ur problems or are u still trying very hard to solve it…and u said u ard solved everythg…and that makes me feel relieve..n I hope they will never come bk again.
Monday, April 13, 2009
we need a break........
14th april 2009
we had a small fight yesterday...u said u need a break,we need a break...and i asked u if u are talking abt a break up but u said no...u just need some time to be alone till everythg is settled...i was scared..because everythg is so similar to my past...the only different thg is that the position i am in..i ws the 1 who told my ex that i need a break....then we got bk tgt....then ended up i need a break up..i am afraid the same will happen to us.....
sometimes i wish we could go bk to the time when we just met....i miss the time when we were just frens....i miss u hugging me to slp........i miss the way u kissed me....most importantly, i miss u so much.....but i thk life will still need to go on....with or without u.....afterall i know i am not that important to u.......
we had a small fight yesterday...u said u need a break,we need a break...and i asked u if u are talking abt a break up but u said no...u just need some time to be alone till everythg is settled...i was scared..because everythg is so similar to my past...the only different thg is that the position i am in..i ws the 1 who told my ex that i need a break....then we got bk tgt....then ended up i need a break up..i am afraid the same will happen to us.....
sometimes i wish we could go bk to the time when we just met....i miss the time when we were just frens....i miss u hugging me to slp........i miss the way u kissed me....most importantly, i miss u so much.....but i thk life will still need to go on....with or without u.....afterall i know i am not that important to u.......
Friday, April 10, 2009
are we just frens?
10th april 2009
i have been waiting for 10 days to see you...everyday sitting down in the room hoping that you will ask me out but these anticipations weren't turn out to be sweet ones.
as soon as we are going to meet tomolo, i have a very weird feeling in me...i feel like u are treating me just like a normal friend of urs....everytime when i m waiting and hoping to see you soon again, the feeling is different from this time.
you never know until u try, that is what i always tell people and myself and in fact it is very true...i always want a guy like you...until i have you nw, i know how hard it is for me....
i have been waiting for 10 days to see you...everyday sitting down in the room hoping that you will ask me out but these anticipations weren't turn out to be sweet ones.
as soon as we are going to meet tomolo, i have a very weird feeling in me...i feel like u are treating me just like a normal friend of urs....everytime when i m waiting and hoping to see you soon again, the feeling is different from this time.
you never know until u try, that is what i always tell people and myself and in fact it is very true...i always want a guy like you...until i have you nw, i know how hard it is for me....
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
shall i go on with u..?
7th april 2009
sometimes u just make me feels like i am an idiot...i have always been sitting in the room,hoping that u will ask me out,for dinner or just to see me for awhile but none of these happen since before you went to bangkok. i feel really insecure, not only thinking that u are with other gals but there might be a possibility that u dun like me, dun wanna see me, dun miss me, dun love me and dun wanna be with me...
when u said u cant make it to meet me today becoz u are going to have a live conference with the seller in US, i dun know, u could have known abt the conference earlier, i dun thk so u got to know that in the last minute as before that US is night time,u said here 8pm means there abt 9am...then u said "friday lo...friday u can come over then relax b4 ur exam...or u wanna go somewhere else" the way u said it sounds pretty much like u are pitying me,n hence u spare me some time...i can no longer differentiate when u are treating me sincerely...when u really wanna be with me..i just dun know how...dun know what to do now as i m in love with some1 whomm i think he doesnt really love me nor wanna be with me.....
sometimes u just make me feels like i am an idiot...i have always been sitting in the room,hoping that u will ask me out,for dinner or just to see me for awhile but none of these happen since before you went to bangkok. i feel really insecure, not only thinking that u are with other gals but there might be a possibility that u dun like me, dun wanna see me, dun miss me, dun love me and dun wanna be with me...
when u said u cant make it to meet me today becoz u are going to have a live conference with the seller in US, i dun know, u could have known abt the conference earlier, i dun thk so u got to know that in the last minute as before that US is night time,u said here 8pm means there abt 9am...then u said "friday lo...friday u can come over then relax b4 ur exam...or u wanna go somewhere else" the way u said it sounds pretty much like u are pitying me,n hence u spare me some time...i can no longer differentiate when u are treating me sincerely...when u really wanna be with me..i just dun know how...dun know what to do now as i m in love with some1 whomm i think he doesnt really love me nor wanna be with me.....
Thursday, April 2, 2009
......
03 april 2009
Why would I ask u “do u really love me”? besides u never tell me before, of course, there are a few reasons why.
1. Remember u were in gurney with jeff?i said I wanna join u then u said u all were about to leave. And when I said I really wanna join you n I m at chili’s, u sound abit weird instead of saying sth like “come find me” or “where are you”. But u said “u are in chili’s?”…sounds like u very scare wanna let ppl c me
2. U were having gathering with ur ex colleagues in queensbay. I was there too, but u din say maybe we can meet up or sth like that. Again u make me feel like u dun wanna let ur frens meet me.
Though you always said y I wanna thk so far, when thgs come, they come. But if I never say I wanna join u when u are with ur frens, what if someday we really meet ur frens accidentally?at least now u will realize that if u really want all these thgs to come.
My frens will tease me like “are u going out with ur photographer” or “u got bf d” n blab la bla which pretty much sounds like in ppl’s perception, couples are meant to be tgt most of the time. I dun know but I m sure this is not what is going to happen to us….u might tell me that I am with a 33 year old man n I need to grow up quickly. Yes…I try, but u need to also work ths out with me…do ur frens intro their gf to u? or are they just like u?
Everytime I need to find reason to tell myself that nth’s wrong, we still have our own life, we still need frens and I dun want u to feel that after having me u dun have frens n thgs like that.but then it all makes me feels as though I come after ur career, family, ur privacy, ur frens n I m the last…always the very last….like I always am…
Why would I ask u “do u really love me”? besides u never tell me before, of course, there are a few reasons why.
1. Remember u were in gurney with jeff?i said I wanna join u then u said u all were about to leave. And when I said I really wanna join you n I m at chili’s, u sound abit weird instead of saying sth like “come find me” or “where are you”. But u said “u are in chili’s?”…sounds like u very scare wanna let ppl c me
2. U were having gathering with ur ex colleagues in queensbay. I was there too, but u din say maybe we can meet up or sth like that. Again u make me feel like u dun wanna let ur frens meet me.
Though you always said y I wanna thk so far, when thgs come, they come. But if I never say I wanna join u when u are with ur frens, what if someday we really meet ur frens accidentally?at least now u will realize that if u really want all these thgs to come.
My frens will tease me like “are u going out with ur photographer” or “u got bf d” n blab la bla which pretty much sounds like in ppl’s perception, couples are meant to be tgt most of the time. I dun know but I m sure this is not what is going to happen to us….u might tell me that I am with a 33 year old man n I need to grow up quickly. Yes…I try, but u need to also work ths out with me…do ur frens intro their gf to u? or are they just like u?
Everytime I need to find reason to tell myself that nth’s wrong, we still have our own life, we still need frens and I dun want u to feel that after having me u dun have frens n thgs like that.but then it all makes me feels as though I come after ur career, family, ur privacy, ur frens n I m the last…always the very last….like I always am…
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